Car Jacked

If you are a self-perpetuating ignorant loser who blames all of your problems on everyone else and thinks that all the pain and suffering in your life will be resolved by an impossibly lucky accident in your future then this movie is just for you!

If you are a responsible and rational adult then don't waste your time with this film. You could spill a box of Scrabble tiles and form enough words from the mess to read a better story.

Rating: Middle-finger

We know more Bleep than we think

If you haven't yet heard of the documentary What the Bleep Do We Know?, consider yourself fortunate. Cleverly disguised as a documentary about "the neurological processes and 'quantum uncertainty' of life," What The Bleep Do We Know? is really nothing more than a pseudoscientific recruitment film for Ramtha's School of Enlightenment. I, myself, had the recent misfortune of actually sitting through this monumental waste of crap.

I had heard a lot about it from friends and television. I didn't actually read a lot about the documentary but from what I had heard it sounded pretty interesting so I figured I'd watch it. So I pop it into the DVD player and the show begins: It starts innocently enough by establishing the scientific problems posed by quantum physics and the unification theory. Then begins what I can only describe as a Dianetics-like approach to dumbing down what was previously discussed with an anecdotal dramatization complete with actors and a musical score. Despite this cheesy interruption I continue to watch the documentary and try to get back into paying attention to the premise. As it continues I notice that among the long list of interviewed scientists a smug and seemingly self-righteous older woman (with an accent I can't seem to place), identified only as "Ramtha" keeps interjecting with superfluous and vague adages which have nothing to do with the actual facts being discussed. The longer the documentary continues the more of this woman we see and the more these cheesy dramatic sequences appear. There's even a segment which includes the inconclusive and laughable findings of Dr. Masaru Emoto on "messages in water." Again, I don't let it bother me and I try to hang on to the point of this film. Unfortunately, once the documentary is finally over, I realize that nothing has been established! The film does nothing more than attempt to fill the holes of quantum physics with comfortable and conveniently ambiguous explanations. Well, except maybe... that the main character in the cheesy sequences is now at one with the universe... I think?

Anyway, as I wade through the credits I try to look for the credentials behind this "Ramtha" lady. Once her name comes up I then notice that, despite the fact that's she's listed as a scientist (which she isn't), she is credited as "Ramtha, as channeled by JZ Knight." Once I see this I try to figure out why a documentary which claims to discuss scientific theories includes the ramblings of a channeler as one of its submissions of evidence. I then look up this Ramtha/JZ Knight character and interestingly enough I find that she, JZ Knight, is the leader of a New Age movement called Ramtha's School of Enlightenment. Apparently Ramtha is a 35,000-year-old warrior that appeared to JZ Knight in the kitchen of her mobile home in 1977. It's no wonder that she lives in a mansion now and has multiple lawsuits pending. What are the charges you ask? Fraud, blackmail, and brainwashing just to mention a few. Go figure. After doing a little more research I also find that the filmakers just so happen to be students of Ms. Knight's movement. Again, go figure.

I get pretty tired of talking about how much I hate non-professional/non-accredited self-appointed assholes "experts" who appeal to people's intrinsic need to "know" mysterious things (such as psychics, Christian scientists, life coaches, palm readers, etc.) by offering warm and fuzzy explanations and passing them off as truth. So I'll just say don't bother watching this film. Unless, of course, you want a laugh or if you are currently a Clear™ and need to further justify your delusional meaningful existence.

Update: A wonderful expose on What the Bleep by Salon.com!

Rating: WTF?